I remember asking my therapist when triggers will stop knocking me off my feet. A survivor herself, she said that over time the lows won’t be as dramatic as they are now, and she was right. It does get better as long as you’re persistent about self-care. Without therapy, working on my self-esteem, and prayer, I wouldn’t be guilt-free today.
In my last blog, I mentioned what I do to control flashbacks and gave you some suggestions. Here I want to talk about the importance of self-care which focuses on changing the negative self-talk in your head to positive affirmations. Remember, rapists are bullies who terrorize their victims physically and psychologically. You need to keep their lies from becoming your truths. If that's already happened, you should work with your therapist to deprogram yourself like I did.
Be vigilant about conquering the lies of the criminal(s) who violated you and brainwashed you into believing everything that happened was your fault when it was ALL their fault.
Remember that criminals are
Please ask your therapist for their recommendations. Here are mine. Try keeping a list of five “I am…” daily affirmations where you can see them every day and work on memorizing them. For example, I am smart. I am talented. I am beautiful inside and out. I am a gift from God to the world. I am here for a reason.
Then, I suggest writing another list of at least five positive self-talk sentences to replace your worst negative self-talk. After negative sentences, say, “That’s wrong!” Then, read your positive ones. Be sure to read them often every day. Below are some examples.
1. It’s all my fault. That’s wrong! All of the blame belongs to the criminal(s) who assaulted me.
2. I’m a horrible person. That’s wrong! I am a beautiful person who experienced a horrible crime.
3. I don’t deserve a better life. That’s wrong! I deserve to live a life that surpasses all my hopes and dreams.
4. I’ll never amount to anything. That’s wrong! I have the strength for everything through Him who empowers me. (Phil 4:13)
5. I’ll never be happy. That’s wrong! I will make myself happy by enjoying life more.
Consider reading these in front of a mirror whenever possible or carrying them with you.
Remember, you are loved. You are precious. You are remarkable, and you’re still here for a reason. Belong to the truth.